Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(203): View more from Connecticut

I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night

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(520): View more from Arizona

The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.

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(734): View more from Michigan

Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.

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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?

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(704): View more from North Carolina

Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?

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(609): View more from New Jersey

My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.

(1-609): View more from New Jersey

Why?

(609): View more from New Jersey

Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.

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(630): View more from Illinois

Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.

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(+63): View more from

I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.

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