JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
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