return my video game
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
