I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
