just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Randomize
