i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
