There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize
