Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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