Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
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you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
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