look no pants
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Randomize
