This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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