I cut my penus on the lid.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
