i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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