Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
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