...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Randomize
