this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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