Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize