we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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