We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
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Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
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The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
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