I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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