At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
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I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.