My liver just broke up with me...
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives