he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
You were trust falling into bushes
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Randomize
