Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
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