I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize