On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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