Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
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