I'm pants shitting drunk right now
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
How naked do you want me to be?
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
