i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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