Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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