I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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