I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Randomize
