I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
She even gives head with a lisp.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
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