Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
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you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize