You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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