Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
