I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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