Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
