just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
