Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Randomize
