i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Randomize
