yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
