some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
