just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
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She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
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He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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