It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
