i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Randomize
