tell your sister to shave her snatch
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
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