the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
