Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
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My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
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Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
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