that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
He? As in you personified your dick?
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
