so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
