I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
