The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
