question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I had to cum in my sink.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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