I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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