Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize