i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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